Wanna know my problem? I’ll tell you. I have too many things I want to do. Too many dreams and plans and goals to put my attention on. I always have. And in moments of snarky confidence I say, So what? I’m just too good at too many things. And then go on with my …
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.Eph 6:13 Truth, peace, righteousness, faith, and the Spirit - that I may withstand the evil day, and open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel. These …
Continue reading "Disillusion Speaks with Razors in her Voice"
Becoming whole after years - or a lifetime - of pain and sorrow always takes longer than we wish it did. Sitting with the emptiness of change is hard, and the instinct is to fill up the void of what once was with something new. But here I am, sitting in the stillness of this …
I didn’t wake up with gratitude this morning. I forgot. So I’ll think on it now. (I woke up thinking about getting the kids to school.) Thankful that I am healthy enough to work out hard and not break myself.Thankful for family that can watch my kids so we can go out of town.I’m thankful …
When I say the word surrender, what comes to mind? Someone throwing their hands up when they’re caught or threatened? Someone surrendering when they are being over powered - like in a wrestling match, or when they know they’ve been beaten at chess? Or maybe someone surrendering their life to death after a battle with …
Dreamed of Larisa last night. We were sitting side by side on the sand, looking out over the ocean. And I started weeping and begged her please don’t leave me. Please stay with me. And we held one another while I cried. In my dream I wanted her to live with us - she was …
Continue reading "Valentines Day Thoughts on Grief and Devastation. (yay valentines day!)"
Letting go of what no longer serves you. There is joy in the unraveling, but also pain. For all of us there comes a point where the pain of keeping things alive that we have held on to and propped up in our lives to help us cope with pain, outweighs the pleasure of keeping …
When I’m angry a great invisible vice holds my jaw in place - keeps my mouth sealed shut. All the words rage in my head, but can’t seem to make it the short distance to my mouth. I figure that saying the words will probably just make things worse. When I’m hot with hurt it …
Continue reading "RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE PART 2 (THE RECKONING)"
And the light dawns. I mean give it enough time and the sun does eventually peek over the horizon. But man, is it ever scary before that first ray of light hits. I sat in the courtyard, the sound of children playing floated on the wind from the orphanage across the street, the dust mingling …
Continue reading "Hiding in caves and other stupid things we do."
Therapy is like an unwelcome friend that barges into your house at the most inconvenient times... and camps out on your couch. You love your friend, but really? Right now? Just when you wanted to settle in with book 5 of Harry Potter and get lost for a while. I've had lots of counseling... loads. …
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