Becoming whole after years - or a lifetime - of pain and sorrow always takes longer than we wish it did. Sitting with the emptiness of change is hard, and the instinct is to fill up the void of what once was with something new. But here I am, sitting in the stillness of this …
Blood and Bone
I didn’t wake up with gratitude this morning. I forgot. So I’ll think on it now. (I woke up thinking about getting the kids to school.) Thankful that I am healthy enough to work out hard and not break myself.Thankful for family that can watch my kids so we can go out of town.I’m thankful …
The Art of Surrender
When I say the word surrender, what comes to mind? Someone throwing their hands up when they’re caught or threatened? Someone surrendering when they are being over powered - like in a wrestling match, or when they know they’ve been beaten at chess? Or maybe someone surrendering their life to death after a battle with …
Valentines Day Thoughts on Grief and Devastation. (yay valentines day!)
Dreamed of Larisa last night. We were sitting side by side on the sand, looking out over the ocean. And I started weeping and begged her please don’t leave me. Please stay with me. And we held one another while I cried. In my dream I wanted her to live with us - she was …
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The Beauty of Looking Back
Having a photography business means lots and LOTS of hard drives and terabytes of archived photographs. And that’s just the first 4 years I got my hands on a good camera! Ha! I rang in the New Year by spending days glued to my office chair sorting and organizing my archives making room for The …
Into the Unknown
Transition out of old, prebuilt places into new, un-forged territory is hard. It’s sad leaving home and striking out into the wild west of the unknown. It’s ok. Take the time to feel sad about leaving what you have known, what you have loved, what shaped and formed you into who you are today. And …
my friend the peace lily
I feel like the peace lily by my window that overlooks the waterfall behind our apartment. every few days he starts to droop and needs more water, then (once watered) magically he springs to life, his giant fanning leaves reaching skyward, his white papery flowers standing at attention once more. it seems to me like …
the currency of hope
"hope: it’s a currency that grows more expensive with time and with exposure to loss." Sarah selah i've always loved plants. and always killed them. after my sister's funeral (a year ago yesterday), i brought home a plant - there were three different kinds in the bowl, lovely, petite pink roses and lush green leaves, …
the fear, the light, and doing it afraid
i’m afraid. it’s not uncommon. i have felt afraid all my life. since i can remember. laying in bed when i was little, staring up at the dark ceiling, walking through the dark church sanctuary when the light switch was on the other side of the room, getting up at night to go to the …
Ally: The Story of an Ocean Girl (part 3, the star song)
(For part one, click here) (For part two, click here) Ally opened her eyes. The sun shone warm on her skin, the sand beneath her was her cradle. She lay very still, listening to the sound of the waves caressing the sand. The night had passed and the sky was once again a clear, brilliant …
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