Pin-Light Moments and How I Stopped Feeling Like a Fraud (My Story Part 1)

The first pin-light moment came when I was at my kitchen table in 2009 – fist fulls of hair, tears of frustration and pain streaming down my face. I was telling God that I didn’t know how to do it – I don’t know how to live this life. I don’t know how to be a good enough Christian, friend, daughter, wife, mother, house keeper, sister – you name it, I didn’t know how to do it. I was miserably failing at all the things I tried to do, all the characters I tried to be. Because none of it felt natural to me. I always felt like a fraud, displaced, disconnected from what was around me – Alone. And the relationships I did have, even the ones I had cultivated the best I knew how over the years, kept falling flat and leaving me empty, including my relationship with God. I begged God to tell me how to live like I knew I should. And what He said to me completely changed the trajectory of my life.